Thanks to shows like CSI, Criminal Minds, and Forensic Files, the field of forensic science has grabbed the attention of a lot of people. From my experience, people either want to enter the field themselves or find someone who is in it and live vicariously through them. For me, I fall into the first category with my family and friends falling into the second.
As I have mentioned before, I am a certified death investigator with a medical examiner’s office. This job, along with a small handful of others, falls under the category of last responders. While it may seem self explanatory, allow me to explain what that means. Firefighters, police officers, and paramedics are first responders. When there is an emergency or a need for immediate assistance, they are the first people you call. When that emergency results in the death of an individual, and all other aspects of that emergency have been resolved, I am the last call that is made, hence the term “last responder”. I am not even able to respond to a scene until it has been cleared by law enforcement and is deemed “safe”.
To be totally honest, I didn’t even know this job existed. Back in April of 2020, shortly after my husband and I got engaged, I began looking for a new job. I wanted to find something closer to where he was located, but I also knew that my job at time in child welfare was NOT for me and it was time to start migrating towards my desired field of work. I happened to stumble upon this job at the bottom of a Glassdoor email, so I looked into it a little more and realized that this was the job I had been looking for. I applied almost immediately, was offered the position a few months later, and began working for that medical examiner’s office in October of 2020. This job has given me the opportunity to cultivate relationships with officers and detectives from local police departments, become familiar with nurses and doctors from the area hospitals, and become certified in this field, which was a big deal for me, but also a requirement in order for me to keep this job. I am not joking when I tell you I studied for that exam harder than I studied for any college exam, and I still had to take it twice.
When people find out what my job is, they become very thrilled. People will say things like “your job sounds so cool”, “your job has to be entertaining”, and my personal favorite, “tell us work stories”. That last one is fun because after a few minor details, their expression turns from interest to disgust and horror really quick. But I agree with them, I do have a cool job. But that “cool” has an asterisk after it that only people in this field can see.
I’m not sure if people fully grasp the fact that I am a DEATH investigator. It’s human nature to be intrigued by death. I know, because before this job, I was too. When people hear through the grapevine that someone has died, they want to know the who, what, when, where, why, and how of the situation. People seem to think my job starts and ends there. But what people fail to see is what we as investigators have to do in addition to the “as seen on TV” aspects of death investigation . That is where the job becomes more difficult than you can possibly imagine.
We have to meet families for the first time on the worst day of their lives. We have to approach the grieving spouse, parent, sibling, and/or child and ask them questions that may seem simple, but are impossible to answer for someone experiencing that kind of loss. We also occasionally get yelled at by those family members and friends because they think we are being intrusive or disrespectful for asking questions about the deceased. We have to stand back while the family comes to say their final goodbye and, through their cries, beg their deceased loved one to wake up because at that moment, they refuse to believe they are dead. We have to go to the hospital and ask devastated mothers if they are able to remember the step by step details of how they put their baby to bed up to the moment they found their baby unresponsive and not breathing, and do so in a way that the mother doesn’t feel like she is being interrogated or blamed. If no family is present when we remove a deceased individual from a scene, we are responsible for notifying the family, whether that's by sending an officer to their house with instructions for that family member to call our office or making the notification over the phone. Let me tell you, nothing is more heartbreaking than having to explain to a family member over the phone (because an in-person notification was not an option) the details of their loved one's death. Hearing their sobs has brought me to the verge of tears on multiple occasions. Being a community crier makes this job difficult sometimes, but I have gotten better at keeping my emotions in check and holding it together when I am on a scene or making that dreaded phone call.
Most importantly, we as investigators have to deal with death on a daily basis. I know that sounds silly because it is in our job title, but second-hand trauma is real. There have been a few cases that have stuck with me that I know I will not be able to shake even after I am done with this job. Sure, dark humor is used by many after certain cases, but that doesn’t mean we take this job lightly. That specific coping mechanism is used because if we don’t laugh or make jokes, we would probably break down and cry. Without some type of coping mechanism, this job would be almost impossible to do. Personally, after a long night at work (I work the 11:00pm-7:00am shift), I like to use my 26-minute drive home to decompress, blast music, and sing my heart out.
Now don’t let this fool you, I love what I do with all my heart and right now, I couldn’t picture myself doing anything else. I just wanted to shed light on the reality of this job. To outsiders, this seems like a cool and fun gig that provides the best work stories to share at the next family gathering. But to those who have immersed themselves into this world, it is so much more than that. It teaches us that life is a precious gift that can be taken away at any moment for any number of reasons. It also provides us with a newfound respect for death as well. So next time you meet someone in this field, still feel free to tell us our job is cool. We know it is! But, maybe this time, you will see that little asterisk, too.
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