Mental health is a huge part of our day-to-day lives, and making sure we maintain good mental health practices is a must. Being a psychology major, I know, to this day, there is still a lot of stigma around mental health and asking for help. Everyone has their own way of taking care of themselves when they aren’t in the right headspace. Some people read, color, journal, drink wine in a bubble bath, or go to therapy. These practices are commonly referred to today as “self-care” and they are SUPER important.
Personally, I have had mental health struggles since high school. I can remember times when my head just wasn’t there and I didn’t feel like myself. I believe I used to call them my “episodes”. Luckily, I had an amazing group of friends who would pick up on those vibes, ignore me when I said it was nothing or I was “just tired”, and do whatever they could to help me through until I felt like myself again. After high school, my friends and I scattered in different directions, so I had to learn how to manage those “episodes” on my own because they weren’t always available. I did think about starting therapy, but between a busy schedule and being a broke college kid, it was never in the cards.
Over the years, I have finally developed my own personal list of self-care activities that I can choose from when I feel myself starting to slip back into that place. My usual go-to is hanging out with or talking to family and friends, but sometimes that isn’t always an option. So, this list is a nice back up when I need it.
1: Coffee, coffee, coffee!
It is no secret that I have an addiction to caffeine that I don’t plan on kicking anytime soon. Coffee is the first thing I drink when I wake up, but it especially helps when I can’t get my head feeling how I want it too. Some people will joke that coffee just makes them “sad in fast forward”, but it really does help me. Nothing makes me feel more like myself than swirling that iced coffee concoction around in its plastic cup and having my soul become more alive with every sip. America may run on Dunkin', but my happiness runs on iced coffee!
2: Comfort movies are key.
I don’t care who you are, if you say you don’t like movies, you are lying. Everyone has that one movie that they can turn to when they want to elicit a certain emotion. For me, whenever I need a pick-me-up, I turn to one of three movies; Mamma Mia, Coyote Ugly, or The Devil Wears Prada. Those three movies can reset my system and by the time “The End” appears on the screen, I feel brand new. Mamma Mia makes me want to sing, dance, and run away to Greece, Coyote Ugly helps me live out a fantasy as a struggling singer/songwriter in New York City, and The Devil Wears Prada has Anne Hathaway, Meryl Streep, Emily Blunt, and Stanley Tucci, so you really can’t go wrong with that combination. There are so many movies out there that I enjoy, but these three are my personal favorite and a self-care must have!
3: Alexa: Play songs from the 2000s, musicals, and Disney.
Music has always been a mood booster for me. I love blasting music in my car, at my apartment, and even at the office when I am the only one working. Of all the music out there, my go-to playlists involve music from the 2000s, Disney, or anything related to a musical. Whenever I hear music that came out between 2008 and 2014, I am instantly taken back to my junior high and high school days. One song can make me recall a memory from that time and put a smile on my face. Aside from the natural awkwardness that came with pre-teen and teenage years, life just seemed so simple back then. And when I hear music from those years, I can’t help but feel happy. When it comes to anything Disney related, I instantly feel like a kid and it warms my heart. I know all the words to almost every Disney song, so I can easily say it is impossible to feel sad when you’re belting out “Hakuna Matata” from The Lion King or “Cinderella” by The Cheetah Girls. Also, it has always been a dream of mine to be in musical theater. So, when I hear songs from musicals that I love or would want to be in, I am transported to a dreamland where I am on stage performing, and I love life at that moment.
4: True crime documentaries and podcasts for the win.
I have always been, and forever will be, a lover of anything true crime. Investigation Discovery is one of my favorite channels and my sister-in-law will always text me when a new documentary comes out on Netflix or Amazon Prime. Whenever I don’t feel like myself, I like to sit back and watch a documentary or walk around and listen to a podcast. I like paying attention to every little detail and trying to figure out what happened and see if I am right by the end. This is also a little morbid, but it makes me feel better about whatever situation I am dealing with at the time because nothing could be worse than what the people in that show have experienced. And I don’t care what people say, those podcasts are relaxing and soothing!
5: Coloring isn’t just for kids.
A couple years ago, my brother told me about a color-by-numbers app that he used on his iPad. The app was called Sandbox and I decided to download it and see what the hype was. Well, I am proud to say that to this day, I still use the app. It is a great way to pass the time, but it is also very calming. When I need to refocus my mind and turn my thoughts toward positivity, I use this app for about an hour or so and I feel better. Watching the stylus move across the screen and the colors appear allows me to center myself and slow down my thoughts. Also, sometimes I get so lost in a picture that I forget what I am coloring until it is done. It makes for a nice surprise and I also feel accomplished when the piece is complete. I also like coloring because I don’t have to isolate myself to do it. I can sit and color while my husband plays his PS4 and we are able to spend that alone time together.
Ok. So the above examples are my “normal” activities that I’m sure most people can relate with. Now, this final one is something that I feel is unique. I usually keep this one to myself, but I have told my husband about it because he saw me doing this one night. And yes, I am doing a lot of buildup for something small and silly.
6: Fake apartment hunting in New York City.
Yes, you read that right. When I get in a certain mindset, one that is not the best, one thing that can get me back is going on StreetEasy or Youtube and looking up apartments for rent in New York City. I went to New York in November of 2019 with my brothers and I swear a part of my heart stayed behind when we left. I would love to live in the city, but I know that is not possible and will forever remain a dream. So, sometimes, I like to fantasize about life in New York and look through pictures of vacant apartments. I will even fake decorate that apartment and plan where all my furniture would go. Youtube tours are fun too because you get to see a certain space with someone in it, see the neighborhood, and look at apartments that are way out of your league (and price range). Now, some people would think that planning for something that is never going to happen would be sad, but for me, it’s just the opposite. When I shut my laptop or turn off the TV, I feel like I accomplished that dream. It also makes me appreciate what I currently have in my life and re-affirms that I wouldn’t change a single thing. That thought right there always makes me feel better.
Well, there you have it. My list of 6 self-care practices that I use when my mental health needs mended. Like I said, everyone is different with how they take care of themselves. Just know that your feelings, whatever they be, are 100% valid. It is ok not to be ok sometimes. But, if your needs go beyond basic self-care, there is no shame in asking for help. Therapy is a really helpful resource and can now be done virtually! There are also free counseling apps out there that are really nice if you can’t afford to see a therapist right now.
In summary, mental health matters and the stigma against mental health needs to end. Please take care of yourselves and make sure you are in a good place. But, please be mindful to those around you because you have no idea what they are fighting inside their heads. So please, be kind, respectful, and non-judgemental. Everyone is going through something, so we all must lend a hand if we are going to overcome the mental health crisis and make it out on the other side.
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